Letting it Sink In

John Chrysostom speaking on the importance of setting Sunday apart from the other days of the week:

I hear many say, While we are here, and enjoying the privilege of hearing, we are awed, but when we are gone out, we become altered men again, and the flame of zeal is quenched. What then may be done, that this may not come to pass? Let us observe whence it arises. Whence then does so great a change in us arise? From the unbecoming employment of ourtime, and from the company of evil men. For we ought not as soon as we retire from the Communion, to plunge into business unsuited to the Communion, but as soon as ever we get home, to take our Bible into our hands, and call our wife and children to join us in putting together what we have heard, and then, not before, engage in the business of life.

For if after the bath you would not choose to hurry into the market place, lest by the business in the market you should destroy the refreshment thence derived; much more ought we toact on this principle after the Communion . But as it is, we do the contrary, and in this very way throw away all. For while the profitable effect of what has been said to us is not yet well fixed, the great force of the things that press upon us from without sweeps all entirely away.

That this then may not be the case, when you retire from the Communion, you must account nothing more necessary than that you should put together the things that have been said to you. Yes, for it were the utmost folly for us, while we give up five and even six days to the business of this life, not to bestow on things spiritual so much as one day, or rather not so much as a small part of one day. See ye not our own children, that whatever lessons are given them, those they study throughout the whole day? This then let us do likewise, since otherwise we shall derive no profit from coming here, drawing water daily into a vessel with holes, and not bestowing on the retaining of what we have heard even so much earnestness as we plainly show with respect to gold and silver. For any one who has received a few pence both puts them into a bag and sets aseal thereon; but we, having given us oracles more precious than either gold or costly stones, and receiving the treasures of the Spirit, do not put them away in the storehouses of our soul, but thoughtlessly and at random suffer them to escape from our minds. Who then will pity us after all this, plotting against our own interests, and casting ourselves into so deep poverty? Therefore, that this may not be so, let us write it down an unalterable law for ourselves, for our wives, and for our children, to give up this one day of the week entire to hearing, and to the recollection of the things we have heard. For thus with greater aptness for learning shall we approach what is next to be said; and to us the labor will be less, and to you the profit greater, when, bearing inmemory what has been lately spoken, you hearken accordingly to what comes afterwards. For no little does this also contribute towards the understanding of what is said, when you know accurately the connection of the thoughts, which we are busy in weaving together for you. For since it is not possible to set down all in one day, you must by continued remembrance make the things laid before you on many days into a kind of chain, and so wrap it about your soul: that the body of the Scriptures may appear entire.

- Homily 5 on Matthew

Before the Light Went Out

I have been revisiting one of my favorite choral pieces - Rachmaninoff's Vespers.  Several years ago, my son had this CD playing in his car for many months, and I remember riding with him on several occasions, during the month of December, and enjoying together the richness of this work.  Subsequently, I now associate Vespers with Christmastime even though it isn't directly related to the Nativity!

Rachmaninoff wrote the collection of 15 songs within a 2 week period (amazing!) in the year 1915 - a troublesome time between the Great War and the Russian Revolution in 1917.  I wonder if Rachmaninoff sensed the looming storm that would come and force the Russian Orthodox church underground along with a ban on performances of all religious music.  In hindsight, this composition appears to be a final blaze of glory before being snuffed out for decades.  It has been written that "no composition represents the end of an era so clearly as this liturgical work".*

Some of the words from the ninth piece - Blessed Art Thou, O Lord (Blagosloven Yesi, Gospodi):

By giving birth to the Giver of Life, O Virgin,

Thou hast delivered Adam from his sin,

Thou hast given Eve joy instead of sadness:

The God-man born of Thee has restored to life

Those who had fallen from it.

Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.

Glory to Thee, O Lord.

Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.

Glory to Thee, O Lord.

Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.

Glory to Thee, O Lord.

To hear some excerpts from the pieces, click here and scroll down to the "Listen to Samples".

*Francis Maes, tr. Arnold J. Pomerans, Erica Pomerans, A History of Russian Music: From Kamarinskaya to Babi Yar, University of California Press, 2002, p.206

Coming in the Likeness of Men

On the birth of Jesus Christ...

Wherefore the birth was twofold, both made like us, and also surpassing ours. For to be born of a woman indeed was our lot, but to be born not of blood, nor of the will of flesh, nor of man, but of the Holy Ghost, John 1:13 was to proclaim beforehand the birth surpassing us, the birth to come, which He was about freely to give us of the Spirit. And everything else too was like this. Thus His baptism also was of the same kind, for it partook of the old, and it partook also of the new. To be baptized by the prophet marked the old, but the coming down of the Spirit shadowed out the new. And like as though any one were to place himself in the space between any two persons that were standing apart, and stretching forth both his hands were to lay hold on either side, and tie them together; even so has He done, joining the old covenant with the new, God's nature with man's, the things that are His with ours.

Do you see the flashing brightness of the city, with how great a splendor it has dazzled you from the very beginning? How it has straightway shown the King in your own form; as though in a camp? For neither there does the king always appear bearing his proper dignity, but laying aside the purple and the diadem, he often disguises himself in the garb of a common soldier. But there it is, lest by being known he should draw the enemy upon himself; but here on the contrary, lest, if He were known, He should cause the enemy to fly from the conflict with Him, and lest He should confound all His own people: for His purpose was to save, not to dismay.

~ John Chrysostom, Homily on Matthew 1:1

But This Roof is not Mine...

John Chrysostom on covetousness, from his homily on the Gospel of John:

Is it a fine thing to build one's self splendid houses, to have many servants, to lie and gaze at a gilded roof? Why then, assuredly, it is superfluous and unprofitable. For other buildings there are, far brighter and more majestic than these; on such we must gladden our eyes, for there is none to hinder us. Will you see the fairest of roofs? At eventide look upon the starred heaven.  But, says some one, this roof is not mine. Yet in truth this is more yours than that other.  For you it was made, and is common to you and to your brethren; the other is not yours, but theirs who after your death inherit it.  The one may do you the greatest service, guiding you by its beauty to its Creator; the other the greatest harm, becoming your greatest accuser at the Day of Judgment, inasmuch as it is covered with gold, while Christ has not even needful raiment.

Let us not, I entreat you, be subject to such folly, let us not pursue things which flee away, and flee those which endure; let us not betray our own salvation, but hold fast to our hope of what shall be hereafter; the aged, as certainly knowing that but a little space of life is left us; the young, as well persuaded that what is left is not much. For that day comes so as a thief in the night. Knowing this, let wives exhort their husbands, and husbands admonish their wives; let us teach youths and maidens, and all instruct one another, to care not for present things, but to desire those which are to come, that we may be able also to obtain them; through the grace and loving-kindness of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom and with whom, to the Father and the Holy Ghost be glory, now and ever and world without end. Amen.

Walking on Water

In commenting on the miracle of Jesus walking upon the water, John Chrysostom makes reference to a verse in Job 9 - "[He]...treads on the waves of the sea."  I had never made the connection.

¹ Then Job replied:

² "Indeed, I know that this is true.
But how can a mortal be righteous before God?

³ Though one wished to dispute with him,
he could not answer him one time out of a thousand.

⁴ His wisdom is profound, his power is vast.
Who has resisted him and come out unscathed?

⁵ He moves mountains without their knowing it
and overturns them in his anger.

⁶ He shakes the earth from its place
and makes its pillars tremble.

⁷ He speaks to the sun and it does not shine;
he seals off the light of the stars.

⁸ He alone stretches out the heavens
and treads on the waves of the sea.

Head versus Heart

One should not read more than he can pray.

Such a simple sentence.  Such a difficult path.  I thoroughly enjoy reading books, articles, and opinions.  There is something energizing about considering new thoughts, new perspectives, or new explanations.  I feel like I’m growing as a person and increasing my mental capacities.  We can easily be deceived into thinking that reading scripture and tackling theological debates define spiritual growth and maturity.

But how much of a difference have these viewpoints, perspectives, opinions and explanations made in my inner life?  How many of them have made the journey from my head to my heart?  Have they changed how I relate to my husband, children, coworkers?  It’s so much easier to grab another book and learn something new or different.  But God is concerned with heart change – not head knowledge.  Heart change is usually painful, exhausting, and time consuming.  No wonder we recoil from the process.  There are no instant results.  The rewards are not evident.  Heart change makes us uncomfortable and requires humility.

This is where I am right now.  I have been a Christian 40 years.  I have accumulated a considerable amount of head knowledge.  God has now focused his floodlight on my heart, and I am painfully aware of how little my heart has been changed.

O Lord, grant that I may greet the coming day in peace. Help me to rely upon Your holy will in every moment. In every hour of every day, reveal Your will to me. Bless my association with those who surround me. Teach me to treat all that comes to me with peace of soul and the firm conviction that Your will governs all. In all my deeds and words, guide my thoughts and feelings. In unforeseen events, let me not forget that all is sent by You. Teach me to act firmly and wisely, without embittering or embarrassing others. Grant me to bear the fatigue of the coming day with all that it shall bring. Direct my will. Teach me to pray, and pray Yourself within me. Amen.

- St Philaret of Moscow

 

A weekend of firsts

KL got her first taste of 'adult' food this weekend. She had chicken tetrazzini, lasagna, potatoes, and ham loaf. Oh yeah, and homemade applesauce. Very good stuff! She was so excited to eat what Mommy was eating.

She bonded very quickly with all family members here, which was wonderful. She's been playful, talkative, and opinionated (no surprise). The nights have been tough though. She made it very clear that sleeping in the portable crib was not an option. Since this is such a new place, she gets upset if she can't see me. So, she's sleeping in the king sized bed. She is getting great sleep while I'm back to getting the amount of sleep I received in the first weeks after she was born. I'm SO tired. So far I've managed to trip over and smack into a wide variety of items. I'm sure I have bruises head to toe. Though my crowning moment of glory was when I leaned over to give something to KL and neglected to realize my knees don't bend that way. It was pretty pitiful to see me faceplant into the backseat of the car. Though my Mom found great humor in it.

Aside from bumps and bruises, this weekend has been full of firsts: adult food (as I've already mentioned), standing (with support) and taking steps all the way down the hall - complete with end-zone dance, and the concept of cl'apping. The 'first' I could have done without was - to put it nicely - doing her "business" in the bathtub. ewww. It would have been nice if she'd saved this for the house, where I have my disinfectant. But no. It had to be here. So, out came the hand sanitizing wipes. I guess it's a good thing I brought an entire box.

We head home tomorrow. Pray for good health, a sleeping baby, and a safe trip.